Stress

Today we had planned on visiting Pamoja center to meet with the women’s group there to discuss our project and gain their insight. When we awoke, however, Collin informed me that he had spent most of the night sick in the bathroom vomiting. True to form, he protested when I suggested that we call Terry to cancel; so, we set out to go to Pamoja. As we walked down the lane from our cottage to the main road, Collin stopped mid-sentence to vomit in the bushes. At that point, I made the executive decision to call Terry to tell her we couldn’t make it today. Terry was, of course, completely understanding and supportive of our decision to stay back and rest today.

So here we are, back at the cottage, and Collin is asleep. I am here with some time to reflect on what this month has meant for me so far. For the first two weeks, I was elated and driven by the emotional high of all that we were learning and experiencing. Then something shifted and my undaunted enthusiasm plummeted. For two and a half days I remained in downward spiral of negativity. I felt over-stimulated, overwhelmed, over-tired, and I felt like the source of my energy was just over. Discontinued. El fin.

That horrible spell of oppression has been lifted. Thank you all for your encouraging words, your prayers, and for sharing the vision that we have for this community so far from home.

I have many reasons to which I can attribute the sense of struggle and oppression. There are some practical challenges. It is difficult to wear a long skirt and a short sleeve shirt in humid tropical heat. It is invasive and trying to not have control over our own transportation. It is difficult to have people asking for money or aggressively yelling at us to buy something from their shops as we walk on the road. It is overwhelming to feel and see so much need and know that we are limited in what we can do. It is even more complicated to know how to truly help and not exacerbate matters, even with good intent. How do we avoid enabling dependency on handouts and funding? How do we overcome the widely held belief that all white people are rich? How do we know who to trust, and how do we know that the funding that we give will be distributed appropriately?

We Americans call the feelings conjured by complex issues such as these, “stress.” It’s a culturally assigned name for physical/emotional/psychological effects that are caused by the feelings of powerlessness, inability to control things out of our reach, a sense of fear, anxiety, and a sense that our circumstances are overwhelming us. Isn’t it interesting that there is something so real, so tangible, so validated by our culture that is completely invisible? It seems contradictory to so much of what our culture believes. There is no blood test that will show you are stress positive. As far as I know, there is no pathogen or bacteria or virus from which stress originates. But yet, it is real. It does have real physical effects. High blood pressure, heart disease, insomnia, depression, and a host of other maladies that seem to be consequences of people under too much stress.

I am convinced that stress is part of the human condition. Stress is here in Digoland, back at home, and probably across the universe. What is it? That is what I want to know. We know what it feels like. We know many of the causes from our own lives. We experience many of its direct physical repercussions. But what is stress? How is it that we as humans all experience this seemingly universal entity that is invisible, elusive in treating, and difficult to conquer?

How do we combat it? I try to balance my life and eat well, exercise regularly, sleep enough, and invest some time in experiences that are restorative. I pray. I try to improve my ability to overcome challenges by reading my Bible and applying it. I spend time meditating. When I slack in one area of combating stress for even a day or two, it seems that it is right there crouching at my doorstep ready to devour me. And sometimes, even when I am trying to be proactive about making peace in my life, it feels that the external factors of stress are pushing on me from every side.

Here are some verses that have helped me in my pursuit to understand what stress is, its effects, and how what cures there are for stress, according to the Bible:


“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

“A man’s spirit will sustain him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” Proverbs 17: 14

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:25

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen in eternal. “ 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 5-7

“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 12:25

UPDATE:
The above was written several hours ago. After a day spent sleeping between bouts of nausea, Collin is feeling much better. He hasn't thrown up in several hours. He is still feeling very sick, but we are confident that he is on the mend. Thanks for your prayers and emails!